Facing our Shadow Self

This month I thought it might be interesting to look at our darker side, or shadow self. To understand this fully, however, we need to look firstly, at the Ego.

The Ego

When most people think of the word Ego they imagine someone who has grand views about themselves or an over-inflated sense of their own importance. When we speak about the ego in spiritual terms, however, it takes on a different meaning completely.

What is the Ego?

The ego is the sense of self, or being separate from everything else in the universe. This part of our nature is the part that believes it must fight for its place in the world and is ultimately unconscious of its true nature. Ego is present in everyone, as part of the human construct. What makes it a challenge is that it stands directly in the way of oneness with the universe.

The ego is compulsively self-centred. A newborn baby consists only of Ego. It is focused solely on its own needs for survival. Slowly, it becomes aware of mother and then other important people in its life, and learns what it needs. Although as we grow, we integrate more and more people into our lives, the ego is still very much self-centred.

In layman’s terms one can define ego as pride about oneself. Thoughts such as my body and mind, my intellect, my life, my wealth, my wife and children, I should acquire happiness, etc. arise from ego alone.

Many spiritual traditions goal is to work on dissolving the ego, the successful completion of this process being known as enlightenment or nirvana.
Enlightenment remains absolutely inaccessible until the ego gives up its structures of control. Since ego is control, this means that the ego must dissolve. It will put up resistance, and so it must be deconstructed. This, however, is not easy, for it is a direct threat to one's sense of self, because the self, the lower self, is a product of the ego. As the ego begins to disappear, so too does the self - or what you've always thought of as your self - and the true Self, the higher self, is revealed.

The ego, of course, resists deconstruction. It has spent its lifetime building up its defensive structures, and it is always ready to create convoluted arguments to protect itself and the assumptions of which it is made. You cannot make spiritual progress until you learn to recognize the operation of the ego - to become aware of its games and tricks - and understand the difference between it and your true Self, or eternal soul.

Why do we need to deconstruct the ego?

When many people begin their spiritual journey, they don’t fully realise the many pitfalls that have to be faced. These pitfalls are the learning curve of facing the many fears that the ego holds. The ego hides the truth from who and what we really are, it hides the demons that the it creates. At some point, we must face those demons and accept them. Spiritual awakening can be a wonderful process as it shows us the true meaning of what is within, but it can also be a true awakener of how the ego has deceived the individual into thinking it was the true self. No spiritual path if walked properly is ever easy, because of the obstacles of the many possibilities that the ego creates to hide the true being of which it overshadows.

Remember the ego will always wait in silence and when it thinks that the inner being is becoming awakened and realises it is losing its own power, then it will step out and ambush the mind with its own ideas of what spiritually is all about - being for its own gain.

How can I begin the process?

One exercise I do with my students, is to look at the dark side of your nature or the shadow self. That is, the part of yourself that the ego recognises as negative, and pushes down. No-one likes to acknowledge the parts of themselves they don’t particularly like. It’s also the voice inside that says we are unloved/not good enough/clever enough/unworthy. It’s shows itself by projecting itself upon others.

Other people mirror our hidden emotions and feelings. To manifest your full potential you have to claim the parts of yourself that you have denied or hidden. If you keep attracting people with similar qualities or traits in your life it is to show you what aspects you are dis-owning in yourself. This gives us an opportunity to recognize them and reclaim them.

I get my students to relax and then see themselves face to face with someone who they really don’t like. I ask them to recognise the qualities in that person which they are projecting from themselves. It’s not a comfortable thing to do but it’s a way of owning the traits and habits in yourself which you have repressed. Once you own them, they no longer have any power.

Facing the ego and shadow self is a life-long process. It’s not something which can be done in one session. It can be painful and upsetting, BUT it ultimately brings immense healing.

"Stay with the fear!" one Orthodox Christian elder told us last autumn in no uncertain terms. "That's what the archangel Michael told the other angels who, in the aftermath of the betrayal and rebellion of God's closest angel Lucifer, were wavering, doubting their commitment to God and feeling the pull of the seductive certainty that Lucifer was offering from his new abode in hell. He was tempting them with the end of all doubt, division and struggle, and offering them the chance to 'reign in hell rather than serve in heaven.' 'Stay with the fear!' Michael told them. 'Because on one side of that fear is the face of ego, but on the other side is the face of God.'"

© Sue & Michael Treanor 2011
www.spiritus-uk.com