SILENT VOICES

Have you ever sat and monitored the thoughts that go through your brain over the course of a day? Depending on the research you read it is estimated up to 70,000 thoughts! If you sit and listen to your ‘mental chatter’ it’s always pretty busy up there…

A large proportion of these thoughts usually relate to our perception of people around us, “I wonder how Mum is?” “I wonder if Bob will be at work today?” etc. As human beings we crave attention from others and a feeling of belonging, these are basic needs that we have.

Sometimes though we can go into overdrive worrying about our effect on others and this is when life can begin to get stressful. There is a balance to be found here as we have all huffed and sighed at the person who jumps the queue and ignores us!

Historically I have always been a pleaser. I love to have a crowd of happy people around me and I love to hear about people’s successes and happiness. As a pleaser if someone has a problem then I try to help them to find the solutions. As a therapist and psychic I have learned to not get hooked into whether my advice gets taken or not, I have come to understand that everyone has free will and I have watched people do amazing things when they are strong enough to make their own decisions.

One thing I am guilty of though is trying not to upset anyone. As I say, I like happy people, but sometimes this means I can get trapped in not doing what I want to do ‘just in case’ I upset someone – anyone! This then leads to me living my life feeling stuck in some way, or worrying about what I might say…

Recently I had a situation like this and spent hours of brain time working through what to do. The human brain LOVES to have a problem to sift through so my brain was in overdrive, night and day turning over possibilities. My thoughts on that day probably ran into the hundreds of thousands!

Finally, I could take no more. A sweating, nervous me finally shared my truth. I waited with bated breath for the outrage, the shock, the hurt…which didn’t come. The word I got was, “OK.”

Just that. One word as it really was ok. So all my effort, worries, exhaustion, had simply been because I was fearful of what could possibly hypothetically have maybe happened.

So my advice Dear Reader would be unconditional living. Live your life according to your own truth, what you feel in your heart. If you are living your own life and doing what you are intuitively drawn to do then you will always find people that share your journey. Everyone has a choice, if others don’t choose the same as you, that’s ok.

By focusing on the life you want to lead you set others free. They no longer need to worry about you as they will know you are happy to look after yourself. They can then focus on what they choose to be happy and life gets simpler.

Have you ever studied people’s faces in traffic or in the supermarkets? There are so many unhappy looking, frowning faces it makes me wonder how many people are not living unconditionally. When you are living a life of your choice you can love it every day and the frowns melt away. The body no longer looks tense as you walk and a spring appears in your step.

Each day when presented with a choice or opportunity you can sit with it, go deep into your soul and say yes or no. I am sure we will all still have the same number of thoughts per day but a higher percentage of happy ones, thinking of fun, peace and chocolate!

© Nicky Marshall 2011
www.holisticinsights.co.uk