Your Questions Answered

Professional speaker, experienced workshop leader, popular soul coach and personal mentor, Joylina Goodings, shares with you some of the great wisdoms that help us to live life to the full and grow as the wonderful beings we truly are in this selection of her most popular ‘Living with Soul Tips’…

For well over a dozen years I have been immersed in helping others find their ‘joy’ in life. From teaching people to communicate with the Angels, talking about future possibilities for the planet, leading workshops about the development of our ‘souls’ to facilitating and hosting wonderful sacred journeys around the world, I have been truly blessed to walk a little way with others as they follow a new and exciting path. What follows is selection of questions and answers, coming from people I encounter around the country, that have helped to shed light on both the great mysteries of life and our fundamental pursuit of happiness…

Joylina my relationships have always ended badly, I attract men who are either completely selfish or totally controlling. Despite doing all I can to please, it’s never enough. What can I do to find Mr Right?

This is a typical example of someone who is unconsciously repeating inherited patterns from her family, society and past. She believes that she is ‘not enough’ and nothing she does will ever be enough for her partner. This belief has lead to her low self esteem. Her unconscious assumptions and interpretations of communication and behaviour continue to reinforce her negative belief. If the men in her life truly are self-fish and controlling then they are not good enough for her! It is possible that the men may just be expressing an idea, but if she hears it as a criticism it reinforces her belief. Her perception becomes her reality. By looking at things differently, noticing what behaviour patterns bring up these feelings and beliefs and interrupting those patterns she can begin to put her own needs first instead of theirs. She will be able to expand her communication skills and be able to create the loving relationship she seeks and create a different reality. And often what upsets us most about someone can be something we don’t want to see in ourselves. So therefore where, if any, is she controlling in her own life. This lady is noticing what is missing in her life; she could focus on what she has.

Now as for ‘Mr. Right,’ well we all seek to connect to someone at a very deep level, to be accepted and loved unconditionally just as we are, with no pretence. We call this person Mr or Miss ‘Right’. In fact, it is the quality of the relationship we have which is important and not necessarily ‘who’ we have it with. The biggest block to deeply meaningful relationships is not finding the ‘right’ person but a mistaken romantic belief that everything should be perfect. What we can do is ‘respect’ each other, letting go of the need to be ‘right’ and make them ‘wrong’. This lady knows she is attracting similar relationships and all those people can’t be the same, she is the only common denominator and only she can change her perception, her beliefs and her life. This is exactly what both soul coaching and the ‘Creating & Maintaining Soul-full Relationships’ correspondence course leads you through.

I have always wondered if the ‘energy’ I sense about me is real and what it is. I always feel protected and helped in odd ways when most needed, could this be my Guardian Angel, and if so how can I communicate with it?

Everything in the world is made up of energy and everything has its own unique energetic vibration. In terms of quantum physics we are actually a mass of particles vibrating slowly hence we appear to be solid; however each water molecule, atom, neuron, proton, etc is actually 99% space so we are not solid at all.There are many other beings/energies around. It is my belief that when a spirit passes over and leaves its physical body behind then it continues its journey in another form. It vibrates at a much higher level and therefore does not appear in the physical world and is less visible to the naked eye but it still exists. I am sure everyone has experienced at sometime or other, just ‘knowing’. It might be who is phoning you before you answer it, becoming aware of a perfume that a loved one used to wear and then feeling their presence around you. But we all too often allow our minds to doubt what we sense. This person senses a benevolent being around her, helping her, especially when most needed and unless she is going to doubt her own senses then this energy is real.

I believe we each have loved ones that watch over us; Spirit Guides who help us for this lifetime and Guardian Angels that watch over us for our soul’s lifetime. They listen to our hearts, they sense and feel our feelings as we sense and feel them. I certainly feel different energies at different times. What matters is that we learn to trust our senses and to identify and let go of those egoic patterns and live our lives consciously. Angels and guides are there to help us. Angels usually communicate with symbols and metaphors and it is important to remember that these symbols and metaphors have been given to you and they will have meaning for you even if you are not aware of it consciously immediately. They will also send you signs and they use lots of different ways of doing so. You will need to be observant and start to recognise these signs, whether they come in music, articles, TV programmes, white feathers, people telling you things and repetition of numbers. You can also ask them for a sign and the more specific you are the less chance there is of missing the answer. Always be careful how you phrase your question because if you’re not careful the absence of your sign may be the sign itself. Never ask something like, ‘show me a sign if you want me to do…’ or ‘is he/she right for me,’ because if the answer is no you obviously won’t get a sign but you will still be looking and wondering why they aren’t answering you. Remember that what you want or think you want may not be what is best for you from that soul perspective. For more information on Spirit Guides and Angels and how to connect to them please see my website www.joylina.com for a downloadable meditation to take you on a journey to meet your own Spirit Guides and Guardian Angels.

I am frustrated in my job; it pays the bills but does little to inspire me. How can I introduce the concept of ‘Living with Soul’ into my mundane working life?

I have many people come to me asking about their soul purpose and what they should do instead of realising that they are seeking ‘who they are’ and most are actually already doing what they need to be. So what can we do when our work does not inspire us? Obviously we can consider changing our work but that is not always possible and certainly not over night. When we are uninspired with what we do then that feeling of discontent can spill over into other areas of our life as well. So the first thing is to make sure this doesn’t happen. Focus on the good things that are in your life. Remember that where we focus our attention does affect how we feel. Be aware that although the job does not inspire you it does pay your bills, it does give you the opportunity to enjoy yourself, it does bring a certain amount of security etc. It has probably given you skills you didn’t have before. Start to notice what it does do rather than what it doesn’t. This way you will start to feel more positive towards it. After all it is going to pay the bills whilst you start the process of finding what does inspire you.

Secondly begin to notice what you do like about work like the people or the location. Then notice what you are doing during any part of the day that goes quickly, where you are total engaged in what you are doing and present in the moment. Perhaps when you were helping someone with something or you were just chatting with someone, what was the topic of your conversation? Expand this observation to other areas of your life. See where your energy lies and what types of things excite and inspire you. What are you doing when you feel alive, excited, energised and even fearful? Remember that angels fly because they take themselves lightly and we all have to play sometime. So start to imagine playing what I call the ‘magic wand game’. Tonight you are going to win a huge amount on the lottery but they are not going to pay you a single penny until you have decided what you are going to do with it. Would you travel round the world, start an orphanage, build a retreat centre, create a wild life sanctuary, get involved with Greenpeace or some other charitable organisation, what would you do in a perfect world where money was not a problem? Be creative. Follow your energy and your ideas, however ridiculous, and see where this leads you. Then ask yourself, “What would I regret not doing?” When you have an idea, look for the common theme. What would all this bring you and what would you be giving? Is it love, compassion, caring, helping people or animals? Is it creating something what is it? Now it is time to change your energy. Notice where you already are doing it and expand it in any little way you can i.e. if you would be ‘caring’ then know that you can care for someone and make a difference in their life even in very little ways right now. We often get so stuck in ‘what is the right thing to do’ that we forget it is about who we chose to be. If at the end of this process you still have no idea what inspires you then it is time to remember that boring uninspiring job, and be grateful for the fact that it is going to pay for you to go and explore all sorts of different exciting things as you start to discover what you do enjoy, that which does inspire you, because you won’t know until you try. Everything you do has the potential to expand your horizons and lead you towards your goal of an inspiring job and you will be having an inspiring life along the way which will set an example and inspire others as you do so.

© Joylina Goodings 2011
www.joylina.com